The Scotch Diary - really intense

Ladies, this can relate to assault, too. Believe me, I know.


The Scotch Diary writes: "Why Some Women Don't Report Rape":

She is afraid. He threatened her.

She is ashamed. She feels like she did something wrong. She feels like it's her fault. She feels like maybe she did something to deserve it. Maybe she shouldn't have worn that top or that skirt. Maybe she was leading him on. Maybe she shouldn't have gone to that party /out for a drink on her own. Maybe she shouldn't have gone back to his place. Maybe she's just a slut.

She's unsure as to whether or not it was really rape. Maybe she didn't say "no" loud or often enough. Maybe her tears weren't quite the message she thought they'd be. Maybe she had too much to drink. Maybe she had taken street drugs. Maybe he was her significant other. I mean, how can your boyfriend/husband/fiance/lover rape you?

She wants to pretend like it never happened. She feels damaged and dirty. She is embarrassed. It's a horrible feeling that she just wants to go away.

She is afraid no one will believe her. She is afraid to press charges. What if the guy doesn't end up going to jail? What if he gets off scot free? Then everyone will really think she's a liar. What if he comes back? Maybe she already told someone, a friend or someone else close to her, to ask for advice and comfort, and they told her she was lying. Maybe she doesn't want to be known as the girl who cried rape. And imagine the further trauma that would be inflicted by knowing that the justice system couldn't help her.

She thinks it'll all just go away if she just ignores it, that calling the police, pressing charges, etc. will just cause more drama. The last thing she wants right now is more drama.

Ladies, women, and girls, while I can never exactly understand what you're going through, I have been in similar positions. I have had similar experiences. Everyone makes bad choices. Everyone puts themselves in bad positions. It's very important to acknowledge the mistakes made on your part, however, there is never an excuse for rape. Maybe you made a bad decision, but you didn't deserve to be raped. Ultimately it is up to you whether or not you want to pursue legal action against your rapist. I'm not going to tell you what to do. Please keep in mind though that many rapists have multiple victims. You may not have been the first, and you may not be the last. Other women may be hurt by him the way you were. Even if you decide not to press charges, please don't keep this to yourself. There are support groups, hotlines, and therapists that specialize in this area. It hurts a lot to talk about it, but it helps the wound heal more quickly and more completely. And, above all things, please remember you're not alone.

Gentlemen, men, and boys, I know you're not all evil rapists who lurk in the shadows waiting for scantily clad women to drunkenly stumble by. I have your best interests in mind too. If you ever engage in sexual conduct with a women who isn't in her right mind (i.e. she's drunk, high, overly emotional) keep in mind that what you're doing may be considered rape. I don't care if you're drunk/high too; it can still be considered rape. So think about it. Is a drunken tryst worth possible jail time and a record? Also, if she expresses any reservations about sex at all, back off immediately. Please. Bad things sometimes happen to good guys because they accidentally do something bad. I had a friend in the beginning of college who had drunken sex with a girl he met at a party. They were both so drunk that neither of them could have given consent legally, but they fucked. The next day the girl pressed charges. Luckily, he didn't have to do jail time, but he is on probation for a very long time and he has a record that will follow him around forever. There have been cases were women have pressed charges because they were coerced into sex (i.e. they said no but the guy kept pushing for it so they broke down and said yes). Also, check ID's please. Seriously. Get some proof of age. If I had a dollar for every time I guy I knew who was a legal adult accidentally slept with a girl who was under the legal age of consent because "she said she was 18" I'd have, to my knowledge anyways, close to $15. The truth is sometimes girls lie. Sometimes they lie about their age to seem cooler. Sometimes they lie about their age because they know if you knew they were under 18 you'd have no interest in them. Sad, but true. Guys, it's just as important for you to watch out for yourself as it for the gals to watch out for themselves.

Women who cry rape, stop it. Just stop it. It's not funny. It's not cute. It's a really shitty way to get the attention you're craving. When women report fake rapes it makes real rapes seem less valid, and it takes attention away from cases that really happened.

Rapists, fuck you. Seriously. That's all I'm going to say.

Also, I'm not trying to make everyone paranoid of the opposite sex. Just be aware.

Phillip's friend that I posted about earlier is in the hospital right now. I don't know the whole story, but what I do know is that her boyfriend posted bail (or something to that effect), broke the restraining order she put on him earlier today, and raped and beat the shit out of this poor girl while she was trying to clean up her house after he destroyed it this morning. She is definitely pressing charges, and this guy is going away for a long time.

The really scary thing is that I'd met her boyfriend before, and he seemed like a nice guy. He was always friendly and polite. He treated her so lovingly in front of us. I liked him.