Home, home, where I wanted to go...

When I was in middle school, a "miracle" occurred.

I was taken off of a 3 year waitlist and was able to finally attend Camp Seafarer.

Camp Seafarer, on the Crystal Coast of North Carolina!

It was a beautiful place, still is very special to me.

It became a haven for me, a home where I had friends who had more things in common with me than my friends at home. And so I began a change in my life. I changed from the W&L alum kid/Country Club crowd at home, into the Camp Seafarer/worldly kid. It was a huge shift, but my parents know 100% that if I didn't have my "camp family" I likely wouldn't be here today...I mean that with every ounce of my being... but that is a whole other story.

Here is a picture of my camp family (I'm the one in the middle with the huge hat and sunglasses):

...And Three of these women are either my bridesmaids or my MOH...

We had Johnny Seagull's who we'd write love letters to all summer, if not after that...
And we would listen and slow dance to Christopher Cross's "Sailing" at the end of our weekly dances...
Aren't all of the Flying Scots tied down at sunset beautiful?

Photos by: A. Creswick, R. Ney or moi!

Friendship and Blogs

I've recently called into question many people I am friends with. I realized that many people I am friends with on Facebook are not people that I'd tell I was getting married on a specific date... or eventually... if I got pregnant. So I deleted a lot of them. I don't need them in my life, at least not until we reconnect at some point. Why become a statistic when you don't need to have _ _ _ _ # of friends? Facebook is for real, true friends. People I'd run up to in a bar elated to see, people who would CALL me on the phone, reply to my texts and email me back. True friends say hey back. Even if they are busy. Say "hey I am busy, can we talk later?" End of story! Simple!

I have also called into question many of the people I follow on Twitter, the people whose blogs I comment on. If you don't comment on my blog (when I comment on yours regularly), or you never bother to reply to something I said to you on Twitter - I delete you.

There are many people who blog who are not who they say they are. I get privacy and not showing pictures of their face - those people I respect. The people I do not respect are the people who blatantly lie about facets of their life. Lie about jobs, social opportunities and friends. Lying to advance your followers and build yourself up is fake. Acting like a show pony.... sad. Those who do not even understand that their social climbing methods are just ridiculous need to figure that out. I bet those people that, not even kidding, their life is still much better and more interesting than Jane Doe up the street. People should be themselves and not care! Privacy, again, doesn't count. Lying... it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. You can be yourself and gain a following. You see people like that all the time in the real world. But some people think they can make up their own world and no one will notice.

I hope people are happy with what I put on here. I am a person with varying tastes. I do not stick to one subject or write about things I do not find interesting or valid. I write for me. But I chose to make this blog public and share my thoughts with you. Thoughts. Not lies. I frequently tell you about my life, because my life has been public for years.

I had a blog in 2000. That is how long I haven't been afraid to write about myself. I challenge anyone to find issue with that. My boarding school did at one point, and made me delete that blog. I did. Some stupid reason like you could vaguely interpret where the school was. Right. It was stupid of me to let them control my life like that. Then a week or two later I formed another one and gave the school the finger, because I lost four years of deep thoughts and shared interests with friends and all of those interesting melancholic moments you have as a teenager by deleting that first blog. I have continued to maintain that second blog. I love it because it is incredibly raw and intense because points of my life have been that way.

Another way I have had a public life? I've been in the press. My family has been in the press. It isn't like you know my address or SSN. So, my life has been public and that isn't something I really care to hide about. I am not a billionaire or a celebrity. But I have interesting stories and have had an above-average upbringing with good moments.

I really plan on making this blog special in the coming months. I graduate in May and more time will be available to do things like my blog and other plans I have for myself. I really hope people continue to follow me on my journey --- because I want you to see where things take me.

Anne Taintor love

I really love Anne Taintor's humorous vintage products. She cracks me up to no end. And while I am a Yale fan, she IS a Harvard grad. Props to her! Here are some of my most recent finds on Google Image:


"I dreamed my whole house was clean..."



"Why do dishes when you can do daiquiris?"



"Make your own damn dinner."



"Honey, you couldn't handle half of me."



"I'm so happy it's happy hour."


And the funniest one I found - not for the faint of heart:


"...and best of all is the matching thong."

Aren't they hilarious? Looooooove them! Meanwhile, I am working on a great entry on a very well-known fallen woman in the C'ville area... woohoo!

All images property of Anne Taintor

Stylish Blogger Award

Here are the rules:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award 15 recently discovered bloggers
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award

Thank you so much to Pink Tulips for giving me the Stylish Blogger Award!
I will now try to come up with some schnazzy things to say.

1. I wear the same size shoe and same size in clothing as my Mom, so we frequently trade things off which is always a blast... especially with some of her vintage items!

2. I have not had my hair cut, in a legitimate way, since 2004. It is VERY long now.

3. I live in Goochland County, Virginia and longingly drive past a lovely, old plantation home everyday. I squint my eyes and try to think of how it would look if M and I lived there.

4. I grew up in Lexington, Virginia, and this upbringing has made me a bit of a snot when it comes to good food, wine and a high appreciation for fine things.

5. I look more like my Grandmama than anyone else in my family.

6. I daily struggle with being a 25-year-old college senior in an undergrad-only college of 1200 students. Everyone knows I am "old" (can't they just say "older" and be nice about it?!)!

7. I have taken over M and my DVR. Shows currently being recorded: Extra Virgin, Southland, The Martha Stewart Show, Grey's Anatomy, the 12am showing up Sportscenter, Conan, The Dish, Soup, How I Met Your Mother, Damages, Greek. No, he doesn't mind. No, I am not totally positive on that last comment.

Fifteen Recently Discovered Bloggers (wow, that is a LOT of bloggers... I couldn't list that many!!!) I have lots of friends, but I have not discovered THAT many recently, here are a handful of recent additions, however!

1. 2frugalfoodies - Boarding school classmate and her hubby making amazingly good food

2. Jamie's J.D. - A Twitter friend whose blog provides me with regular laughs

3. Natalie at Tripping in Heels

4. My cousin's GF, Xiaolu at 6 Bittersweets, makes me drool on a daily basis with her delish-looking meals.

5. A very awesome family friend, Dixie Gypsy, on her adventures in Australia!

6. Amanda and Nick. I always like to get ideas from other people's weddings!

7. Sara in Le Petit Village. Sometimes she does a French word of the day with j'adore!

8. You may follow her on Twitter as SBCVandy, her blog is now titled "My Crooked Life." but I really enjoy her keeping me in the loop about her health! So important!

Feel free to spread the LOVE around, y'all!

XO

Wedding Website - Questions

So I am tentatively posting M and my wedding website at some point... not on here, just in general... probably after we "at some point" get our engagement photos done. Because it seems like everyone does these ridiculous photo shoots where people either look great or absolutely ridiculous. In some that I've seen, couples have worn blue jeans and JEAN SHORTS, with shades of blue t-shirts on. That isn't my cup of tea. I mean really, who MATCHES their fiancee? Don't you match your elementary school class or your siblings? It basically creeped M and I out to a whole new level. M and I are not a fan of that.

One good friend of mine, with impeccable taste, did an incredible photo shoot with her now-husband. It was in Norfolk, and they posed on bicycles and in the old neighborhoods (maybe even including Ghent) - and it was incredibly retro-chic with a boho vibe that fit her personality. They kind-of coordinated outfits but it didn't look stupid. It looked relaxed and effortless. I really adored their photos, because they were high quality shots that didn't look forced at all. That's what we want to go for.

Soooo back to the wedding website. This opportunity is unknown territory for my family and I, as I am the first child in my extended family to get married in 11 years. Yup, ELEVEN. So, 11 years ago, wedding websites didn't even exist yet. TheKnot.com was brand new and even that took some meandering around the internet. Everything was still mostly done in print. I am grateful to have several wedding etiquette books but I still have some questions I would appreciate hearing from you all about.

Registry listing: Many acquaintances and friends have posted their registry links on their wedding website. It is an optional tab on the sidebar, not on the main page. Is this okay? Or is it a no-no?

Engagement Story: How in-depth do you all get about the engagement story? The day we got engaged, M didn't even let me bring a camera, I think he wanted to keep it between us and not broadcast all over the world. My sister and her husband had it done similarly. On a beach in Jamaica, no camera. Then it is something kept between you two, and then you tell who you feel about it because they weren't there. Is the engagement story a tell or not tell feature for a wedding website? As Peggy Post puts it in her book, "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette," she says, "Don't include overly personal information...such as when you shared your first kiss, what you did on your first date, and so on (pg. 173)."

Ring: Do you show the ring in photos? Or do you only post photos that have the ring subtly displayed in a posed image?

Honeymoon: Do you share information about the honeymoon? M and I are on the fence about this information, as we feel as though it is ostentatious - but if it is the norm, we are certainly open to this option.

I would really love everyone's input on these things, because some tread the line between over-sharing and just letting people know.


As a side note, some people have asked my opinion on another new wedding "tradition" (?? definitely not the right word). I would like to point out that just like Judith Martin's "Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding" you could not [even with a gun to my head] have me consider ever posting anything along the lines of "Create a Gift" or "Contribute to Honeymoon/Mortgage/etc." as I find them tasteless, crass, and inappropriate. Okay, off of my soapbox now.

Oxfords and Oysters

I cannot wait to go to this event which is hosted by Sky Blue Events! I am busily trying to figure out a way to get up there and possibly stay the night. I love the cause, as my major is doubled in political science and environmental studies, and I have a few aquaintances who are tied to the organization - Oyster Recovery Alliance - that Oxfords & Oysters supports. The VIP gift bags are just fabulous and they are "worth the trip alone" as @GroveGalk (http://www.pineapplegrovegifts.com/) put it! One major item in the VIP swag bag is the new True Prep book. Recently, the ladies at Sky Blue Events mentioned a portion of the text which had this hilarious quote:

"High-heel rule: You must be able to run in them - on cobblestones, on a dock - in case of a spontaneous footrace."



Well, if you have ever been to Baltimore, you know many sections are cobblestoned. Do I need to tell you how many times I have almost DIED from my heels getting stuck in cobblestones while taxis raced toward me? Or running down the street with an ex at 3am from the old Wharf Rat off of Ann Street, in the pouring down rain, for whatever reason at the time it seemed logical but because the rain was freezing cold in February I was screaming and people thought I was being mugged? Or in one instance, the Light Rail train looming towards me as my brand new heels were stuck by Pratt Street. If I hadn't been with a certain gentleman who pulled my shoe loose while I remained on the phone WITH my FATHER, who knows if I would even be around today? HA! I had to get my shoes re-cobbled while living in Baltimore about 3x a year. I wore them out from working at Nordstrom on the floor as well as being a rambunxious early 20-something. What a fun time. That quote really made my day...

Anyway, back to the fundraiser.

Included in the swag bag is:

Boatman Geller

Knot Belt Co.

Miller Ribbons

Nico and LaLa

Obagi Medical Products

Orbit

Peter Blair

Popchips

Preppy Monogrammed Gifts

Red Door Spa of Cross Keys

solixir

Southern Point Co.

Southern Proper

Stephen Bonanno Sandals

True Prep

Vineyard Vines

More to come!

It seems like every week as the event gets closer another piece of swag is added!
The event is Saturday, September 18, 2010 in Baltimore, MD (my 2nd hometown as I call it). From 3-7pm there will be an open bar, live band, oysters, and food to enjoy. In advance, VIP bags are $125 and general admission are $75 per person. It is sure to be a gorgeous evening and event, as September in Baltimore is beautiful and temperate. It'll be waterfront at Little Havana at 1325 Key Highway. Check it out!: http://blog.skyblue-events.com/oxfords-oysters

Again, it's for a great cause, the sustainability of the Chesapeake Bay Oyster population!

Ode to the Nice Girls

Rant: Ode to the Nice girl
Date: 2005-11-27, 9:18PM EST

Ode to the Nice Girls
This rant was written because a nice girl finally snapped.


I've read the tribute to the nice guys; this is my response.

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intramural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

Sometimes the nice girl gets sick of waiting.

PostingID: 114087824


From The Best of Craigslist: Philadelphia [http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/114087824.html] This is a take on one I originally posted in my first blog in April of 2005, and this was posted in November of 2005... not sure where the original one came from but this is somewhat plagiarized from that original one I found... but still, the point is true.

Christmas List

Hey all,

working on my Christmas List.



Does anyone have any input??



XOXO
-Worthy

For Izzy, today

Ode to the Nice Girls
This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds."

This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone.

This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging. We nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intramural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. You don't want the nice girls, so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express.

My Guest Blogging entry

A boarding school friend of mine, Miss Muddy Paws, recently went on vacation and requested that I do a Guest Blogging entry for her while she was out of town.

Here is the URL: http://thewetnose.blogspot.com/2009/08/guest-blogger.html

Hello World!

Worthington: OMG
Worthington: I am Ranked #6 on GOOGLE
RAN: I can't wait until you come visit once I move to brian's
RAN: OMG what?
Worthington: for this search : happier a fine frenzy
Worthington: in which i posted only 5 hours ago the lyrics
RAN: haha what?!
RAN: HAHA
Worthington: because no one had them online
RAN: haaaaaaahaha
RAN: that's hilarious

I am as bad as Libby... update soon

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. List 15 books you've read that will always stick with you. They should be the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag 15 friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what books my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your Profile page, paste rules in a new Note, cast your 15 picks, and tag people in the Note, upper right-hand side.)

1. Fair and Tender Ladies by Lee Smith
2. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
3. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
4. Atonement by Ian McEwan
5. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe by Fannie Flagg
6. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
7. The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank
8. The Ya-Ya Sisterhood books by Rebecca Wells
9. Dress Your Family and Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
10. Earth Odyssey: Around the World In Search of Our Environmental Future by Mark Hertsgaard
11. Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser
12. The inextinguishable Symphony by Goldsmith **AMAZING**!
13. Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire by Amanda Foreman
14. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
15. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

Darling Hopsy!! and Taking Any Questions You Have!

Oh, this reason is exactly why I love to blog!! Wonderful, generous and all-around perfect Hopsy at Kappa Prep has so much in common with so many of us Conservative preps out there! I almost died when I read this entry, in which she said:

Belle-Pink Cupcake asked what my dream car is.
"Gosh, this can sort o of change from week to week. It also depends on what stage of life I am in. I mean I love my little Volvo right now, but am debating on upgrading to a smaller Mercedes or the Volvo SUV in a few years. I love the way both type of car drives, so smooth and and easy! However, it will all depend on where I am in life. If I can see myself closer to starting a family I might lean towards the Volvo SUV, but if I am still a happy single girl the Mercedes is the way to go. Then, after having a few little ones I would LOVE a navy Range Rover or Mercedes station wagon (so very mommy!)."



And I couldn't agree more with her choices! Smart, efficient, etc. As I told PBF the other day, I am ALL over the Navy Range Rover for an active family car. "If the Duke of Edinburgh can be an environmentalist and drive one, so can I !!!"


I am so totes inspired! I know she is followed by a GAZILLION more people than I am, but I am flailing about for inspiration of posts to write. Fashion Week has come and gone, and I am busy with school, as usual, and hope to catch up next week during our Spring Break. However, I would LOVE to answer any questions anyone has for me - I think it would be fun. I am no longer concerned with anonymity at this point, as clearly some people who read this know me...


Do you have any questions you have always wanted to ask me?

So Sad/Thoughts on Breakups

I am still stunned and in shock that one of my favorite blog ladies, Puttin on the G.R.I.T.S. is going through a hard time. Now, I know there are people out there with issues with babies and things like that, but when you are young like we are and just carrying on with a job and getting used to being in a genuine relationship, when one of those things goes away your life's balance goes kaput! I am sending her all the GRITS love I can muster!!!

This is what I told her today:

Oh sug, this breaks my heart! I will tell you, I am SO UNDERSTANDING. I have been through this situation myself - but I am more shocked by your situation than my own. I really don't know what to say, but to just open up your heart and probe it with your thoughts. Maybe you will someday understand this experience if you two do not recover. Then again, maybe you WILL recover. Because you are a beautiful young woman who gave a lot of time and heart to this man who meant everything to you. I can only wish you good and positive thoughts.

I have been through what she is dealing with. It blows my mind, honestly, to think of my life before Michael. While he asked me out a year ago this week to go on our first date, our flirtations had been going on since back around Christmas of 2007. I cannot even begin to think how amazing Michael is, and how much I love him, especially in contrast to A--- before, who I was pretty much settled on, and how I thought I knew what love was in a full way with him. And then things ended ugly there and Michael just took me away into a whole other WORLD of love.

So, I guess in some ways you could say my Ex was my First Love---- but I don't... because even though time was spent, words were exchanged, and love was shared... I don't think about him. In anyway. Good or Bad. At all. I think this entry would be my first in a love while where I am even thinking about him at length other than fleeting thoughts here and there.

There are other guys out there, who I think could fit into "First Love" category - but not A---. I think because it ended so ugly and shockingly and suddenly. We had the long-term, long-distance relationship... but it started off on a seeing each other after work, regular basis kind of thing. It wasn't until I went back to school and moved back to VA that my priorities shifted, and his driving 2 hours to see me 2 weekends a month, him telling me he wanted me to change him, his sad attempt at sweeping me off my feet but coming off more like a stalker, and his even more sad attempt at proposing to me, in utter desperation... are just like something that didn't even really happen. I wouldn't say like a dream... or a nightmare... because even those have memories. And my life has been so full of Michael that the thoughts of A--- are almost nonexistent. He tried, A--- really did, I think, but I just don't believe his heart was in it like he thought. And even though he ASKED me to "change" him, and I tried, the end result was a mess and I should've known better. Instead of just accepting him as he was... I should've known better.

I know that sounds insensitive, but I really mean it in an honest and true way. It really was for the best. A--- literally made me sick when we broke up. I went off the deep end in my attempt to cope with it - I had a fun girls night out the weekend after with people I hadn't seen in ages, drinking at a bar and just singing some Bon Jovi and loving the Baltimore party scene in Federal Hill... and I went to a wedding with a guy friend who will always be That Guy to me - I know we all have one - he is like our Mr. Big in every way (great job, the quintessential gentleman, could take care of us as long as it wasn't something gross, etc) except he could NEVER date us unless he still hadn't found someone by the age of 40 and even then he may hesitate to make it a solid relationship. But I had the ugly too. The not eating enough, the not being a Southern lady and over doing the booze ---- Thanksgiving, 2007 was a disaster on a familial level and then the whole break up happening not long before that REALLY pushed it over the deep end... and those things came at a time when I knew it was over, I was reeling from the sequence of events that occurred, and I flailed about like a fish out of water. I did a lot of uncharacteristic things to really help myself out mentally - the "it isn't really over, IS IT?" denial, the driving 3 hours out of my way just to see him for "one more night", the whole capacity of it [my desperation] really makes me shake my head now. I think my whole thing was, "I am so fantastic, who is stupid enough to screw things up with me? I will give him another opportunity to fix this crap!!" When I should have just moved on.

Which I did.

After a lot of prodding and poking.

I.E.| Everyone in my entire office BUILDING wanted me to go on a date with Michael and move on and take out the trash on my history of A---, and so I finally flirted with him, to let him know I was interested, we talked for a month or so, and he asked me out the first week of February in 2008. And now, we are living together, as we have been since this past summer. My family loves him. My uber-Deep South-traditional Grandmama and Grandpapa like him (enough to take us all out to dinner, which they never did in the 2 years I was with A---! Booyah!!). And now, he is buying me a house to make into a home with him. Plus, we are going to the Banks for Valentine's Day/Federal Holiday weekend, Sanderling here we come!! How can I not love this man? He is everything!! It is such a life-changer. So much has changed in just over a calendar year.

My whole point on my post is this theory: you can think you are done and everything is... "perfect"... but then you can REALLY have things done in a fashion where things are falling into place the way your mind has always thought they should have gone and REALLY be pretty much perfect and that is probably the end result you want.

I had another GF who lost a BF not too long ago either. But in that situation, and she knows this info from me first hand, I always felt like she was just lowering herself to him. He was in this totally different world from her and I felt like she just kept growing and maturing and he was staying, well, in the same place as he had when we were Freshmen in college. Obviously, they could eventually get back together if she believes that is what would ultimately make her happy. But she has so much going on in her life, and so many opportunities falling into her lap, that I am so excited she doesn't have the weight of someone else to worry about when she gets offers to travel the WORLD (literally) for more education in her future line of work! How can a fabulous female say no to that?!?!

So, I guess it depends on who you are with, what kind of life you want, and who you are now, and plan to be, in the future.

They know I love them both and only wish them the best!!!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to my family, friends, and my friends out in the blogging world. I love all of the neat information we share.

It is cold in VA and cloudy, but no snow. Maybe a Christmas miracle of snow will happen overnight? We shall see.

Love to everyone!!


~W

A Soulful Relationship

A Soulful Relationship

By Reverend Ronald McFadden

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."


Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others, or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults is not really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life', you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, deceitfulness, neediness, and selfishness are NOT the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship. Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

Q. What keeps a relationship strong?
Answer: Communication, intimacy (not sex), trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note), sharing common goals and interests. Leave a nice message on their voice mail or send a nice email.

Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain will replace the passion. "Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think. The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8.

Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight? You should always to try to be a little more kind to each other than necessary. The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the 'I'. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


========================================================================

I got this from an email a while back. I love it every time I read it.

Britney on Ellen clip

I am dying this is so funny.

Gross

Sometimes, I hate being a woman. Cramps are THE worst. I am sitting at my desk at work with a heating pad and I took 3 Advil and now I am SLEEPY. NOT GOOD. I have an exam review tonight and I am barely awake. Boo. Thankfully, the cramps have gone away. But I still have to drive the hour to my evening class. And it is raining and foggy. Yuck.

I'm back!

Okay, well, now that I am mentally recovered from losing a music idol who I had grown up with knowing well, I am back on track...

Recently went shopping with Mike to Short Pump mall, LOVE my subscription to Lucky because it includes those delish coupons from stores - got to use my Ann Taylor LOFT ones so here is the loot I got:



Striped Ruffle-Button-Down Shirt. $46.00
Hello I want to follow the "ruffle" trend of Fall without looking like a pirate!! and continuing my classic-preppy-with-an-edge style. This does it perfectly with it's wide, delicate ruffle down the front and around the collar, long classic dress shirt sleeves, and narrow, miniscule pinstripe pattern! Yay!




Crewneck Cardigan. $39.50.
I mostly bought this cardigan because I really enjoyed the style, found it significantly comfortable (I'm a 32D bra so I hate the buttons pulling look), and found it incredibly soft. I love the kind-of pearl polish of the buttons! It is great to layer with and have worn it 2x now, so I am thinking I may go back and buy it in a few more colors. I have it in grey, but it also comes in red, pink, orange, yellow, green, black and brown!


Michael and I are still doing faboo. We are big into staying-at-home-cooking-and-drinking routine. It's mostly because he works, yes, in the same building as me, but we maybe see each other once a workday. Also, he has a parking spot in the building, unlike me, so we cannot ride into work together (prohibited by federal regulations for his position), he trains 3x a week - Monday, Weds, and now Fridays and sometimes even Saturdays.
If I haven't explained it before, Mike is a purple belt in Jiu-jitsu from a Gracie school, has studied Muay Thai, and participates occasionally in Jiu-jitsu or MMA tournaments. He is incredibly skilled and regimental in his training from his military background and you wouldn't know it if you looked at him. I mean, you look at him and see him as a law enforcement guy, but you wouldn't be able to tell that he could break you in half. ha.

Anyway, so we like to spend time at home just cooking and hanging out. Especially now that I have started Paralegal School! Woohoo! So I am doing that 2 nights a week in Richmond and loving it. The classes are great and so are the teachers. I am really glad I chose this program to further my job prospects, etc. It's nice being back in a program where I am one of the "smart kids". I think there is no reason I shouldn't get an A in pretty much every class I take! I should be done with the degree in Spring of 2010!

Back to cooking:

Here is a recipe Michael made for me one night:

My Pretzel-Crusted Chicken Breasts, published in Rachael Ray 365: No Repeats

Ingredients
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
½ cup chicken broth
½ cup milk
8 ounces shredded sharp cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons spicy brown mustard
Salt and pepper
One 12-ounce bag whole grain pretzels
2 teaspoons dried thyme
4 large eggs
2 pounds of chicken breasts (4 smalls ones is easier but 2 large pieces worked fine for Mike and I)
¾ cup extra-virgin olive oil (EVOO)

Directions
1. Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Whisck in the flour and cook for 1minute, then whisk in the chicken broth and milk. When the milk begins to bubble, stir in the cheese and mustard. Season the sauce with salt and pepper; remove from the heat and cover to keep warm.
2.Preheat the oven to 250F. Using a food processor, finely grind the pretzels. Transfer to a shallow bowl and add the thyme. In another shallow bowl, beat the eggs. Coat the chicken with the pretzel crumbs, then the egg, then the pretzel crumbs again.
3.In a large skillet, heat ½ cup olive oil over medium heat. Cook the chicken in 2 batches, turning, until firm, about 3 minutes on each side. Drain on paper towels; keep warm on a baking sheet in the oven.

Yummy!


Here is a recipe I did the other night when it was an unexpected 66 degrees outside and raining!! PERFECT for when it gets to be cooler. I think Mike would've enjoyed it more with a beer (the flavor is a bit dull, like Chinese dumplings?)

RICOTTA GNUDI IN PARMESAN BROTH
from Everyday Pasta by Giada De Laurentiis
nude. That's the translation of gnudi, which describes this pasta filling without the pasta wrapper.

PARMESAN BROTH
6 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

RICOTTA GNUDI
21/2 cups whole-milk ricotta cheese (I used 3 cups because I thought it needed more cheesiness)
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1 egg
1 egg white
2 ounces prosciutto, chopped
2 tablespoons chopped, fresh flatleaf parsley
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour, plus 1 cup for dredging

Bring the chicken broth to a boil in a medium saucepan over high heat. Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer until the broth has reduced to 4 cups, about 20 minutes.
Meanwhile, make the gnudi. Bring a large pot of salted water to a simmer over high heat. In a large bowl, combine the ricotta, Parmesan, egg, egg white, prosciutto, parsley, nutmeg, salt, and pepper and mix thoroughly. When the water is simmering and ready, stir the flour into the ricotta mixture. (It is important not to add the flour too soon; otherwise they will become dense and gummy, not light.)
Shape the gnudi using two large soup spoons; scoop up a large spoonful of ricotta mixture into one spoon, then onto the other spoon and back again, forming a three-sided oval. Drop the gnudi into the dredging flour. Form another 8 or 9 gnudi at a time, dredge in flour on all sides, and tap off the excess.
Slide the formed gnudi into the simmering water, being careful not to overcrowd the pot. Remove the gnudi using a slotted spoon after they have floated to the top and have cooked for about 4 minutes total.
While the gnudi cook, create another batch of gnudi and dredge them in flour. Continue cooking and forming gnudi, transferring the cooked gnudi to a platter in a single layer, until you have used all the ricotta mixture.
Divide the gnudi among the serving bowls. Pour the reduced broth over the gnudi. Sprinkle with a pinch of the pepper and a spoonful of grated Parmesan and serve.


Relationships. Well, things have been rather fantastic for me lately, although I have still been having a hard time making time to spend with GFs and BFFs, etc. I am trying really hard to prioritize. I make sure to phone visit with both of my parents at LEAST once a week, even just send a quick text, email, or voicemail to a GF/BFF who I haven't seen a while but miss a ton, and keep work and school balanced. Shwew! I am doing all I can to not wipe out! But it is all worth it, I like being busy, I like having responsibilities. I just bought tickets on pre-sale to see Nine Inch Nails (I know, weird for me, right?) with my friend Emily (if she can't go I will likely invite Isabel!) in November, and Isabel and I are thinking we may do First Fridays around town with all of the galleries after work tomorrow. It is pretty fantastico, if you ask me!

I never thought I would get where I am with Michael, mostly because I was so far involved with Adam and so interested in John. Weird how things turn out, but definitely for the best. I know I have said it a dozen times but it still rings true!! Everyday I am grateful for the things I chose to do or not do, so I was able to get here and start my relationship with Michael. : )

On to more trivial things:

Gossip Girl was ehh. I loved the clothing as usual, adored Blair's poolside retro-glam bathing suit, and loved the new slang "motherChucker" and "Basshole", and was glam things were so cheesy for the end of the Season Premiere. But I hope things get better, because this "I am a Lord" bit is kind-of random and I don't want Season 2 of GG to be like Season 3 of The O.C. (weird, random, and WTF with all of the excess drama).

The Hills. Okay, lets actually have a storyline on Heidi and Spencer if you are going to include them. Come onnnn. And the Whitney storyline is just as disjointed. Can we please have some coverage of Lo not being a huge bitch and Audrina not being slung around like a purse. And Stephanie is so fugly. What was her problem back in the day? Her face tells me it may have been meth, because she just doesn't seem happy unless she is COVERED in makeup. Good golly.

90210. Didn't see it. Hello, RNC to watch.

GREEK! So glad the show is back. I am totally addicted. And I love how accurate all the Greek-i-ness is. It's quite adorable, but I really wish Casey would stop getting screwed over. Cappie and Rebecca still weird me out, but I can handle it when Rebecca isn't being too nice or too obnoxious. I like her natural bitchy self!

Pretty things...

UPDATE: My favorite rings are the 1st one and the last (4th) one. Both look incredible on. the other two are less-expensive, but very pretty as well. Mike would make me a happy woman with any of these --- he is just such a perfect guy, and a gentleman!! Plus, he makes me feel safer than I've ever felt. Which is the kind of guy I need to settle down with...


Tried on so many rings yesterday with Libby at Finks that I got a blister on the knuckle of THAT finger. I am definitely a size 7, wish more rings came in that size and not a flipping 6!!!

Regardless, it was good to start fresh and really be looking at rings. After Adam and I broke things off last year I wasn't really sure that looking at rings would be that fun, but this was way better. Plus, having a best friend around doesn't hurt, either!

I'll tell you what each of these rings are, but not the price, as a lady doesn't discuss prices of her finest jewelry...


This one is my favorite. This ring is the Ashoka-cut Anastasia ring, with pave diamonds:





This is the Ashoka trilogy ring:




This is from the Endless Love collection by Ritani. It is an Aschler-cut diamond ring:






This is a lovely Finks custom-made, pre-made Cushion-cut double-band ring. They can tweak these if you want, but I think the pre-made is just as beautiful: